One time I was at a church retreat and a bunch of us were all talking and playing cards. Well I ran out of soda just as my friend was getting up to get a refill so I shouted to him "Hey, Bryan, Mountain Dew me.” Do you see where this is going because I did not.
You guys, I literally shouted a phrase that sounded like “Mount and do me” in a room full of very conservative people. I did not share this near death experience for 22 notes.
"im not racist i hate everyone equally" yeah, hey buddy how’s the sixth grade goin
my sarcasm is at it’s best when I hear a stupid question
Girls that love gay guys but are disgusted by lesbians.
Guys that love lesbians but are disgusted by gay guys.
Anyone who is disgusted by anyone because of their sexual preference.
SOCKS AND FLIP FLOPS
My cousin came out to his mum by baking a cookie and writing “GAY” on it with icing and then went up to her and said “you are what you eat” then he ate the motherfucking cookie and if that’s not the best way to come out idk what is
parents: CAN YOU DO SOMETHING AROUND THIS HOUS-
*takes one good photo* posts on all blogs, posts on all social media accounts, makes wallpaper, sends to friends, prints out and frames, emails to obama